I'm In Love With A Boy
by Mootycakes
Summary: Kyle is hopelessly in love with Cartman. Will he ever be able to admit his feelings, and, if so, will Cartman love him back or is Kyle doomed? Read on to find out! Yaoi and language.
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: Future yaoi and language

Disclaimer: If I owned this, I wouldn't be poorer than Kenny.

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I'm In Love With A Boy

by Mootycakes

Chapter 1: Admitting It

Well tonight is the night of the big school party and I'm feeling like I'm about to make a giant fool of myself. All the seniors at South Park High are going to be there since Token decided to throw a "we've got one more year to go let's drink" bonanza. Ha fucking ha ha. It just seems like an excuse to throw his money around. Whatever. Kenny asked me about fifty times to come, so I'm going to go.

My Super Best Friend Stan is going to be there so that's a plus. The giant downside is that Cartman is going to be there. Yes, he's changed a lot over the years. He isn't the fatass he was when we were eight, he's actually tall, muscular, powerful, intelligent, sexy, and about a million other things I shouldn't feel for him; he isn't a giant fucking douche to me all the time, but he still acts like a bigoted asshole, making as many insulting remarks about my Jewish heritage as he can.

I already know it's going to be a disaster. Kenny keeps trying to set me up with any chick he can get his hands on. I wish I was brave enough to tell him that I don't want all this fucking attention; that I don't want a relationship right now; even if I did have one, I wouldn't want a woman.

Yup, I admit it, everyone laugh at me. Kyle Broflovski is not only a scrawny, nerdy Jew,but a gay one at that. Just another thing for people to pick on me for. I've told Stan and, of course, he's supportive and didn't make a single crack about my gayness. Well, that was after I reassured him that I had no interest in him whatsoever, never have and never will. Stan's great looking and a nice guy, but he's too much of a fucking pussy and I don't have a vomit fetish.

In fact, the only fetishes I have come from all the abuse Cartman has given me over the years. I like to think that it's his fault I'm such a submissive, masochistic person, but I know it's not his fault. In fact, I blame my mother more than anything for that part of me. She's such a raging bitch (though I deny it most of the time) and her ridiculous demands of me and Ike are too much to handle most of the time. She's been training us to be submissive little boys who listen to those "above" them. We both see this as bullshit, but put up with it for fear of being grounded for months at a time. I need my social life.

I shouldn't even consider my social life safe anymore (if I decide to come out that is), not that I really have one since all it consists of is study dates with other people in my advanced classes. Surprisingly that includes Cartman. Sometime between elementary school and junior high he decided to use his knack for creating and making evil schemes come to fruition on his school work. My mother insists I spend time studying with him, to further my intelligence by working with someone who has a "fantastic work ethic" and an "incredible urge to succeed." She just sees him as a great influence because he manages to get all A's and be on the football team.

It's so hard to be around him. All he does is remind me of just how fucked up I am. I'm fine being gay, but I hate being such a coward about it. I don't mind being absolutely infatuated with someone either, but it sucks that he has to be the one that has made my life a living hell so many times in the past and continues to fuck with me relentlessly. Laugh it up, I deserve it for being in love with South Park's resident neo-Nazi.

That's right folks, I am in love with Eric Cartman.

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Author's Note: This is definitely new for me. I've never written in this style before so please let me know how I'm doing by giving me a review.


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: Future yaoi and language

Disclaimer: If I owned this, I wouldn't be poorer than Kenny.

I'm In Love With A Boy

by Mootycakes

Chapter 2: The Party

For the umpteenth time tonight I glanced from the mirror to my cell phone. Anxiety has taken over. Groaning in frustration I pull at the freshly trimmed curls. It's going to be a nightmare, I know it.

I look over to my phone again just as it vibrates. "Hey Stan."

"Hey dude, you ready?"

"Haha, about as ready as I'll ever be." I roll my eyes at Stan's snort.

"Trust me man, it's not going to be that bad. You don't even have to drink if you don't want to. I'd avoid Cartman though, he'd probably try to slip you something alcoholic."

I sigh as he chuckles into the phone. "Yeah yeah, whatever. I'll be waiting outside for you to get here."

"Kay."

We both hang up and I walk back over to my full length mirror. Everyone is in for a shock tonight when I show up. My usual t-shirts and baggy pants have been replaced by a form fitting, button down emerald green shirt and hip huggers. The biggest surprise will be the lack of my Jewfro. I finally managed to convince my mom to let me chop it off so I'm left with much shorter, neat red curls.

To say I'm nervous is an understatement, but I'm hoping everything will go alright tonight.

The party is already in full swing by the time we get there and everyone looks pretty buzzed. There are so many people I think that I might be able to avoid Cartman all night, but unfortunately that's not the case as I see him, flush at how sexy he looks, and stumble down the one fucking step into Token's living room. Of course he notices and laughs heartily at my expense, as usual. So here I am now, hiding in the bathroom in the guest room suite. I feel like such a fucking spaz.

Fuck it. I came to have a good time with my friends. I look hot, if I do say so myself, and I'm not going to let it go to waste. I splash a little water on my face, calm myself down, and head back downstairs and into the kitchen. Kenny waves at me from booze table and I make my way over to him.

"Hey! You actually made it," he smiled. "I was beginning to think you were going to chicken out."

"Yeah, well you bitched at me about a hundred times so if I didn't come I knew I was going to have to hear more of it."

"Oh come on, you know you're having fun! Admit it Kyle."

"Sure, it's a lot of fun, especially since the first thing I managed to do was trip myself up right in front of Cartman giving him more ammo to use against me. It's a real blast Kenny."

"Forget about him dude. He's just a dickhead, don't let it get to you."

"I haven't let it get to me in years Ken. I'm good."

I gave him a look of finality, letting him know the conversation was over before grabbing a beer and walking off. I mostly did that for show seeing as I'm not much of a beer drinker. I'm not much of an anything drinker to be honest so I dropped it onto a nearby table without even opening the bottle.

Walking out of the kitchen and into the hallway I manage to bump into Cartman again. Fuck. He puts his arms out against the walls to block me from going anywhere. I glare at him hotly.

"What do you want Cartman?"

"Oh nothing."

"Are you planning on standing there blocking the hallway all night, or can I get by?"

"Well if that's what you want I suppose I could move."

I knew he was up to something, but went with it anyway. As I walked forward he moved his left arm for me to pass. What I didn't notice was him putting out his leg for me to trip over, so I fell flat on my face. Of course he busted up laughing at me so I didn't bother looking back and ran away from him. I knew this would be the worst night of my life.

Fuck it. I stalked off to find Stan to tell him I was leaving. Searching through the house, I found him in the living room making out with Wendy in the corner. I wish those two would cut ties for good. I'm tired of listening to them both bitch after their bi-monthly breakups.

"Listen dude, I'm heading out," I muttered.

"Mhm, kay, see ya at school," he managed to get out before going back to his make out session and groping Wendy's breasts.

I sighed, he cares more about that whore than his best friend. I should've known that by now. I shove people out of my way rushing to the front door. Leaning against the wall next to it was the bane of my existence.

"Out of my way Cartman," I ordered.

"What's wrong clumsy? Why are you leaving so soon?"

"Just fuck off!"

His eyes widened in surprise. I guess he didn't expect wimpy old me to fight back since I haven't done it in years. I've been ignoring his attempts to antagonize me for a long time.

"Oh come on Kahl, what's wrong? Got your panties in a bunch?"

"That's it!"

In a moment of rage I grabbed a nearby vase and chucked it at him. He jumped to the side, out of the way, and it shattered against the wall. His shock gave me a few seconds to run out of the house and into the cold night.

I decided to take the long way home, that way my parents wouldn't question me being home so early. When I opened the front door it looked like my plan hadn't gone as well as I hoped it would.

"Why are you home so early bubbe? What's wrong? You look upset, tell us what happened bubbe."

"I don't want to talk about it Mom. It was nothing."

"Don't lie to your mother Kyle! Now tell us what happened."

I hate it when my dad feels the need to butt in and team up with my mom against me. I sighed.

"It was nothing. Craig brought alcohol to the party and I didn't want to be around it or anyone under the influence so I left. I was being the responsible adult you raised me to be."

"Well I'll be giving Token's parents a call about that tomorrow."

"MOM! No please don't, it's none of our business and I left so you don't have to embarrass me in front of everyone else do you?"

"Oh come on Kyle, how is it embarrassing to you? No one is going to know you had anything to do with this."

"Yes Mom, they will! Token's parents will tell him you called, and he'll know it was me that told you, and he'll tell everyone else. So the whole school will know and I'll be an outcast my entire senior year!"

"BUBBE! You will not argue with me like that! You're grounded for the next two weeks, now get to your room!"

I held my tongue and ran up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door and locking it.

"So Kyle, why'd you throw that vase?"

I barely managed not to scream when I saw Cartman sitting on my bed in the dark. It was always my strongest desire to have him there, but under these circumstances, it was a nightmare.

Author's Note: I'm really sorry it took me so long to update this. I was really hoping to be punctual about posting new chapters, but quite a few things happened that kept me from writing anything during the last several months. I hope this makes up a little bit for the delay. Let me know what you guys think. No flames please! =]

Hopefully, my inspiration to write again will stay and I'll be able to update this story, and my others, much more often. Look for more one-shots and drabbles from me as well if you like to read those too.


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